Amanda Flieder
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Welcome to the Blog for Amanda Flieder
​Updates on Fridays

Thoughts, Words and Random Ideas...

Almost... There...

12/28/2018

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    The first seasonal holiday event is complete, and now we're rounding the final bend into the New Year celebrations. Out come all the "best of" lists and the "resolutions you SHOULD have" lists and the "I'm going to be a better me by doing..." lists. So now I get to be a bit rantish. It's like being peckish, but with angry feelings instead of hungry feelings. Why? Because not everyone can hold onto the I'm A Happy Me ALL THE TIME mask.
    In case nobody noticed, I really am a bit cynical. Sometimes maniacal. This time of year, with all its forced wide-eyed belief in everything that's been super hard until now suddenly going to get really easy because of throwing a few words into a goal-based mantra... me and my anxiety-riddled brain usually have a hard time with this point in the year. Those "best of" lists are typically things I haven't heard of or didn't actually like, so anxiety states I have done The Alive Thing wrong again this year. Any "SHOULD have" list or statement is a nest of poisonous snakes inside a sleeping bear and I am just not going to poke that shit. My anxiety and depression does not need to know that I should be sleeping three hours a night - without making time to eat - so that I can achieve GREAT THINGS. Just, no.  As for the "better me will do..." lists... isn't this what I've already been trying to do every day? So...? 
    All these lists tend to hit me in the anxiety and remind me that the depression is, in fact, completely correct in its whispers that I Failed at Life So Why Have Any Optimism At All? I know the lists are all meant to be nostalgic and encouraging and uplifting, but they often come off in the same passive-aggressive way as that one relative who looks down across the holiday feasting table and says your job is "cute" and your life decisions are "nice". And I mean, seriously, you could be the world's top brain surgeon, happily married, and that relative would still sneer that your job was easy and your marriage was secretly unhappy because the topic is you. And don't even get that relative started on knowing that, due to the economy, you're not working (or, you know, that you would openly discuss something like sexuality).
    There just aren't enough eye rolls, and you have my deepest, deepest sympathy if this relative was part of your holidays.
    These end-of-year lists just don't work for me. I'm not nostalgic, I'm sarcastic. As well, cynical me just can't get behind making up goals because reality me wilts under failure and anxiety turns goals into self-fulfilling Fail Prophecies. I really don't need that.
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Thank you to everyone who picked up a book from Story Shares this month! This non-profit library is active all year, every year, to help teen and adult struggling readers get the tools and resources needed to improve their literacy skills. Profits from every purchase go directly to developing more resources and books. Help everyone find their joy in reading!
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    What all this above rambling means is that this year, for the New Year, I'm only listening to the music lists of "best of 2018". I love most music, so hearing songs I haven't heard and seeing where the stuff I already like is sitting on the rankings is fun and my anxiety can't pick at it. I'm avoiding the "SHOULD" lists as if they are all laced with bubonic plague (ie: Black Death).
    Total aside: many moons ago I read a great article on replacing "should" with "will" in any sentence and, if the sentence becomes ridiculous, get rid of thinking you "should" do the thing. This trick has helped my brain SO MUCH! It was a click-bait link that I clicked to get to the article, so now many months later I can't find the link, but this word replacement in personal thoughts is a good one for me.
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The wars are over.
The viruses are being controlled.
The world is still ending.
​At least, people's place in the world is ending.
Faith isn't always found in the same places... this short story isn't about what you'd think. 
    As for My Best Me, I'm just going to keep doing the improvement stuff I've been doing. That must be working because this this year has been a struggle but this holiday season has been so memorable. My in-laws and hubby honored my wishes for please no more "stuff" and, in doing so, gave me the gift of time because I had zero "stuff" to put away after opening presents. I seriously had time to run laundry through - who has time for five loads across Christmas Eve and Christmas day?? This lady, that's who! :D - and I had time to fold everything. And oh my gods my kids are so loved by everyone in their lives right now and my happy heart hurts with the sweet toys, wishes, and memories that people gave them. Also, my in-laws and chosen family are some of the most amazing, kind, hilarious, and honestly wonderful people I'm lucky enough to know. I started 2018 having left a toxic job and life direction to focus on family, self care, and writing, and I did that, and the progress has been amazing. That progress also stalled out a couple months ago because, wow, 2018 was A GRIND and... Ugh! Life, right?
    So, I'm starting 2019 with having asked my doctor for help and gotten into therapy, and I have a phone number for the local grief counseling specialists burning a hole in my desk that I'm going to use next week to see if I can get that counseling started, too.
    "Best of 2018" lists? Only music... if I get around to it.

    "Resolutions you SHOULD have" lists? Hahahaha! No. 
    "Be the best you by doing..." lists? Y-e-a-h... I'm already doing that. I'll just keep going.
    I can't miraculously ~cure~ my anxiety, but I can work inside solutions that don't sabotage my self-care. Side note: you can, too. You don't have to trap yourself into things that aren't possible and are only fleeting wishes of the season. You also don't have to weight your personal progress under other people's seasonal wishes that make you lose sight of the most important thing: YOU. Bring in the year on your terms with the ways that work for you to be your best you, cynical optimism and maniacal laughter optional. ;)
    May the best good luck of 2019 find you! Have a lovely weekend and a great New Year's Day!
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T.G.I.F.!

12/21/2018

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    And I use T.G.I.F. as in: Those Gifts I Found-in-the-other-closet-last-night-and-how-do-we-have-this-much-stuff-to-wrap?!
    I'd forgotten how nice it is having a full weekend before the "official" holiday days hit. It seems to my memory that for the last few years, the holiday statutory dates were falling on weekends and there was no way to have a couple last-minute things go wrong without causing excess chaos. Or maybe it was just really busy and the excess chaos was happening anyway?
    Whatever it was, what it is this year is a whole weekend of being able to prep and still sleep. That means a whole extra day to, well, hang out with the kids and do a craft or two, probably get laundry done, and possibly even open a word file and play with a story. Also, I can make ALL THE FOOD. I'm not a fan or follower of the doctrine behind Christmas, my personal beliefs lean into family togetherness and lighting up a few candles while having a wee feast for Solstice to celebrate the return of the sun, but I can get behind this being the season for gathering friends and family together for tasty meals and special desserts multiple days in a row! Plus, it's super-sized fun doing the gift-opening activities while the kids are small enough to light up brighter than the tree and big enough to understand it's a special occasion.
    If you're like me and will have a few moments this weekend to enjoy yourself, these are pretty well the only "Christmas" songs that I will seek out and try to listen to at least once over the holidays. I'll just leave these links right here in case you need a giggle :)

​Christmas at Ground Zero
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Weird Al Yankovic
Grandma Got Run Over
​by a Reindeer
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The Irish Rovers
    This week was entirely plugged with baking and kid recitals. To the extent that this is the first time I've been able to sit at my computer and write anything longer than an email, and I think the email happened on Wednesday... from my phone. *Shrug* Onward into the oldest kid's final day of school for this year, and then two weeks of holiday break! Happy Solstice and best wishes from my house to yours that you get to have a wonderful whatever you celebrate! :D
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Come One, Come All!

12/14/2018

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    This show I will be at - with books and more! - is happening this weekend at the Alberta Aviation Museum! Come by, say 'Hi!", and finish your Christmas shopping all in one easy stop! ... and then go next door to check out the museum because they have kid-friendly interactive displays and so much info about Canadian heroes, aircraft, and gear that it's easy to get happily lost in there. (Speaking from experience. This museum and the Telus World of Science are my two favorite outings in the city with and without the kids!)
    I don't have too much else going on.
   <insert muffled hysterical laughter here>
    Actually, for the writing side of things, I've been steadily chugging along to provide a couple shiny new short stories for blogging out next year (yes, that 'New Year' thing is really happening in only a few short weeks), and the Story Shares Best Seller Challenge is ongoing so I've been annoying everyone I know by advertising about that. Speaking of the Best Seller Challenge, have you checked out the Story Shares Library or picked up any of their books from Amazon? I'm assuming a reply of yes so THANK YOU! Supporting literacy for everyone, at every age and reading level, is huge in my nerdy wee heart. :)
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Check out the Story Shares Library!
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​Check out my Story Shares book on Amazon!
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    On the life side of things, our condo is still for sale. You can totally go buy it if you'd like to live in a town house on the South Side of Edmonton. Also, our realtor is amazing, so if you need help buying or selling a property in and around Edmonton, I can't recommend Colleen enough. Click the photo to check out the full listing!
    On the other life side of things, oh-crap-it's-the-last-real-weekend-before-Christmas-and-we've-all-been-sick-and-so-much-isn't-done-and-I'm-kinda-freaking-out-because-I'm-doing-a-trade-show-starting-tomorrow-and-I'm-BEHIND-ON-EVERYTHING.
                              <inhales>
​    The HOLIDAY PRESSURE is on and I hope you remember to take one minute every day to just close your eyes and breathe. I've been trying to remember to do this, but having a head cold is making it tough because, well, snot. Hopefully your airways are not suffering the same fate and you can steal a moment for yourself here and there throughout every day.
    I also have been booked to go meet a human in the new year who is going to try and help me with the anxiety and grief stuff that's muddling my view on the world. I really don't have the words for how excited I am to have help getting out from under the yuck that is lodged in my brain (or, at the least, a few new tools for figuring out how to carry it better so that I stop getting smothered).
​    Mental health is important! ​
    Have you read this short story yet? It complements The Centurion's Woman trilogy, my debut series, without throwing any big spoilers at you (I mention this in case you want to read the books - I hate having spoilers so I assume the same of others).
    Hope you have a great weekend!
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Shark Fin with Sleigh Bells?!?

12/7/2018

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    Does anyone else hear the "Jaws" movie theme music under the Christmas carols being blasted from every store front, restaurant, grocery store, and every other public space? Just me? Hmm... maybe I should've gotten things together earlier this year.
    Okay, I'll just wait here until you quit laughing about me having anything at all together. ;)
    I know I'm not the only parent out there feeling ambushed by the holiday season this year. I don't know how a static holiday date can always pop up suddenly, but here we are. Again. Scrambling for a semblance of calm in the middle of the three weeks before Christmas rush. This year totally has my vote to go back to the olden days with a week of feasting around celebrating the solstice and the fact the the days are going to start getting longer again (minus the sacrificing friends and family, and the constant threat of freezing or starving... that turned dark quickly... oops).
    Something to brighten up your day if you're suffering shopping panic: there are a ton of trade and vendor shows happening that can provide you with thoughtful and hand-made items. This show, specifically, I think you should come to:
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    Why should you come to this show specifically? 
        1. It's at the Alberta Aviation Museum, and that place is cool to visit.
        2. There will be over 100 vendors, each one having great gifts and/or ideas to help you through the holidays.
        3. I'm going to be there! You should come visit my table and say hello and buy books!
    Click the image above to redirect to the Facebook event set up for the show. You can get all the details, plus invite friends who might be interested. Hopefully we'll see you there!
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    Something near and dear to my heart, and I think everyone can agree, is that literacy is really, really important. It's also something stat's prove a large percentage of teens and adults struggle with daily. That's where Story Shares comes in! They are a USA based nonprofit focused on supporting teens and adults around the world who struggle with reading.
   This year, I was lucky enough to have one of my short stories included into the Story Shares library! This December is their Best Seller Challenge. I'd love if you picked up a copy of my story, and any other of their books that catch your eye! All profits go directly back into creating more resources to help struggling readers.
   Click the Story Shares image above to learn more about them, or any of the images below to redirect to my book. You're helping someone learn to read with every purchase!
    Back to the topic of books - because who doesn't like that topic, right? - I got to do a little bit of writing this week. Not nearly as much as I wanted to, seems like everyone in our house is getting sick with different things so at least two of us are under the weather on each day, but at least I got a bit done. I also did a #PitMad pitch party on Twitter yesterday.
    What a crazily intense and wonderfully supportive experience! The premise of #PitMad and #PitchWars is that writers can attempt to sell their books to agents / publishers using tweets; maximum three tweets per manuscript. Friends and colleagues encourage each other by retweeting the pitches, and agents and publishers who "like" the posts are giving permission to the writers they liked for skipping the line on their query submissions. As in, if the agent "likes" your tweet, you reference the tweet and send in your query and they look at your work nearly immediately. I didn't get any agents "liking" my tweets, but as a first-time attempt (and fighting internally against the feeling of being like a skeezy used-car salesman by attempting to self-promote), I think getting a total of 32 retweets across my two pitches was pretty amazing. There was so much writing world support yesterday! Now I'm super excited to see the new books that are going to be coming out in a year or two because of this event - the tweets that got agent notice were all books I want to read!
​    Hope your weekend is a good one!
Need a short story to get you through the day?
​I've got something for that!
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    AManda FLIEDER

    A weekly blog updating on Fridays with quick personal blurbs about me, as in what's going on during my life as an Author and mom, and that doles out my short stories and novellas in bite-sized parts for everyone to read for free!

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